Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
