you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
