I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
