Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
