i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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