the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
