He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
