It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
we should paint friendship bongs
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
