I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
