Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
