Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
