Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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