like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
