so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
