I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
