I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
