i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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