i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
