Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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