There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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