I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
