so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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