so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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