that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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