talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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