i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wish i was in the wii world.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
