Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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