whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Damn victory sex feels great
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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