Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am spending my child support on dildos
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
