my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
