this just has baby written all over it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
They took my balls.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
