Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
