is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
How's work?
Spinning.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
