FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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