do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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