Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
