there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he puts the penis in happiness.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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