And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
