All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You're so nebulous sometimes
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
