I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
