Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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