I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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