Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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