you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
