Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
