Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
