Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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