how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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