Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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