Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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