the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hippo gnu deer
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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