True but thats because hes a fetus.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
